It’s early…

and the house is quiet.  My mind is not.  My brother is really sick.  Emergency room kind of sick.  I know that he will be fine eventually.  This was just a nasty virus, but it has worried me.  I hate for my family members to suffer.  It has been five years since I lost my best friend to breast cancer and five years since I lost my dad.  I go forward.  I make plans.  I live my life…kind of.  I try to be light and interesting.  Sometimes I fail.  Most times I fail.  It bores me to talk of death, grief, bereavement…and yet, there it is…24 hours a freaking day.  Always in my head.  I sometimes hide from other people because I think that they are bored with it too, the old news of loss.  I think it’s part of the reason I’m starting this blog, to purge the heaviest of it from my tired brain.

2 thoughts on “It’s early…

  1. Your comment about old news about loss is so true. Not that people are tired of hearing of it, but they might be, but the fact that loss is always with you. You are diminished by loss of those whom you love. How can that not be news. Trying to reinvent yourself when those whom you loved deeply and made your life what it was are gone is hard work. And how do you reinvent yourself when you are who you are is confusing. How to go from child to teen to woman to wife to mother to fatherless child/woman, to best friend gone woman. It is overwhelming and exhausting and a woman’s life. Be well. Know you are loved.

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