Going Along Fine And Then…

My friend’s kitten died last night.

It was four weeks old – probably just too young to be away from its mama.

I held it for twenty minutes in the morning after walking the dog.

Its little voice had deepened since I heard it last Thursday.

It clearly wasn’t well.

Its energy was gone.

It didn’t even know I was in the room until I touched it.

Poor little thing.

It burrowed itself between my neck and hair and stayed there as long as I let it.

I wish I’d had more time, but it wasn’t my kitten.  It wasn’t my house.  It wasn’t my place.

When my friend called later to tell me it had died, I wasn’t surprised.

I feel sad for my friend and her husband and children.

It’s a rough time for them to lose a pet, even a stray they’d only known for a week.

Last night as I was getting into bed, I accidentally tipped my grape leaf music box up on its side.

The daintiest little notes of O Sole Mio tinkered their way to my ears.

Somehow that seemed fitting for my somber mood.

The music box sat on the mantle in our living room when I was growing up.

I was always fascinated by it.

Now, whenever I hear it, I float instantly to a weird melancholy space between the lightness of childlike wonder and the heavy reality of my father’s absence.

I don’t think I realized until I heard it that I was so depressed about that little kitten.

I couldn’t save it.

That’s just how I felt about my father, my friend and cats of my own.

I couldn’t save them.

But today, I’m trying to let that go.

I had two good days getting the little boy off to school this week and then this morning there was a meltdown about socks.

Three pairs.

Socks.  And shoes.

None of them were right.

After an agonizing fifteen minutes of upset in the car, I sent him to school in sandals.

I’m tremendously sad about the kitten, but I have to let it go.


4 thoughts on “Going Along Fine And Then…

  1. What a sweet kitten. You’re right about having to let it go, but it’s OK to feel sad for its leaving. SO glad to hear about Thomas’s getting off to school OK, and if it’s only about socks or shoes, that’s better than many other things.

  2. Darn near broke my heart about the kitten. You did what you could. At least for a few minutes in its short life it knew someone loved it.

    Did you know that the grape leaf music box was brought back from Switzerland by Grandmother Doris Harris? Her one trip to Europe. I always loved that music box and glad you still have it. Love, Mother

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