We put up a few more Christmas decorations today. Just one more little box and we’re done!
I love how our house looks when it’s all decked out for the season. I wish we could carry the sparkly glow of that through the whole year without diminishing the special feeling of it in December.
We dim the lights and burn some candles whenever we have guests, but there’s nothing quite as romantic, cheery and welcoming as holiday lights. The trees, the garlands, the string of fat old bulbs on the backyard fence, they all just add so much to the fun of day-to-day living.
I often think I’d like to keep the backyard lights throughout the year and simply change their color for each season. They’re very festive and seeing them out there makes me feel like I’m in Bazaar Del Mundo or something.
But enough about that.
The little boy went to school as happy as can be this morning and seemed the same when I retrieved him in the afternoon. Unfortunately, I just found a red card in his backpack. Apparently he was “not following directions, pushing others and slapping the classroom aide.” Blech. Will it ever end?
I had lunch with a dear friend today. He asked me what I thought would happen to my son after I was gone or just too old to care for him. My friend wanted to know if I thought my son would ever be independent and capable of living alone or being in a relationship.
I confess, those questions circle my brain on a regular basis. They put a lump in my throat at least once a week and occasionally motivate a full blown sobbing panic attack. All of that is laced with heartache, but I try very hard not to let it get the best of me.
For the most part, I am full of hope for my son and I consciously choose not to worry too much about his future. There’s just no way to know it or to control it, so I can’t borrow the trouble of it while I’m busy getting him through elementary school. I simply can’t afford the energy that would require.
I do know that he has come a long way since he got his first diagnosis around 18 months. For a while, we weren’t sure if he would ever talk. Now he talks all the time and he has an infinite capacity to learn new words and to correct himself with each sentence he tries.
He constantly labels things aloud, narrates whatever action he sees and is eager for clarification or fine tuning of his vocabulary. I just see all that growing and, I think as it does, it will naturally improve his ability to navigate successfully through the social nightmares that surround him.
I guess I gave some shortened version of this response to my friend. I know he worries about my son too, so I hope he was okay with this answer.
I feel like I’m rambling now and, really, I’m more than ready to sit on the couch with the remote in one hand and a fudge bar in the other. (No cracks about that please. Or the fact that I linked to Walmart. What can I say? The fudge bars are good and Walmart sells ’em cheap.)
Oh, just one more thing – RageAgainstTheMinivan cracked me up again this week. I swear, she’ll probably think I’m a nutso blog stalker or something, but she’s really funny and you all deserve a laugh, so here’s a link to one of her recent posts.
Day Twenty-Nine 2010 Pumpkin Demise
Flat as pancakes out there.
Pumpkin pancakes, mind you. Just like IHOP. Not. Heh heh.
As usual, there are a few other pix in there too, including a couple of the little boy with half closed eyes and really dirty teeth.
He’s the sweetest, smartest, cutest, kindest, most beautiful baby boy that ever lived. And, no matter what, I tell him that every night.