Hearts and Farts

The husband and I met at Coco’s for a little Valentine’s lunch together yesterday.  It was very pleasant until someone in the booth behind us ripped a stinker during our dessert.  Chocolate cake just isn’t the same when you’ve been frosted by a stranger’s gut bomb.  Sorry, but it’s true.  Happy heart day to us.

A few hours later, I blew up some balloons for the little boy.  There was one big one in the bag that looked like a mouse.  The last one like that had popped while I was blowing.  That happened with this one too, except that this time it exploded into my eye.  I felt it hit – blammo!

Seriously, I thought for just a few seconds that I had lost my eye.  I screamed.  LOUD.  And cussed.  A LOT.

The pain was unbelievable and the shock of it was overwhelming.  I started sobbing immediately, which didn’t help, but it scared me.  It really did.  I think it scared the little boy too.

I went to the opthalmologist this morning and learned that the lid is swollen and the eye is scuffed, but neither are irreparably damaged.  I now have drops to put in the eye three times a day for the rest of the week, but apparently I’ll live, still with two eyes.

The unfortunate part of this incident, if you get past the pain, fear, shock and incapacitation part I mean, is the fact that it has ruined my sinuses.  I am swollen-eyed, sniffling and sneezing too.  Great.

In other news, the little boy wouldn’t go to school today.  His meltdown defeated me.

I really needed him to go this morning.  I wanted to come back from the doctor and rest my eyes for a few hours, but that wasn’t meant to be.

In my misery, I broke every rule for stay-home days.  They’re supposed to be boring, you know?

But I took the child to get pancakes with grandma and grandpa.

Then, I took him to the doctor with me.  (That’s code for adventure, because it involved a parking garage, an elevator and big weird opthalmology machines with little lights and giant shiny parts.)

And as we drove out of Hillcrest, I impulsively asked the child if he wanted to go to the Zoo.  The Zoo!?

What was I thinking?  With my eye like this?  On a stay-home-from-school day?!

He said “yes” and so we went.  We saw snakes and bears and birds.

After the Zoo, I got him Burger King food.  Strike three.

No, four!  Pancakes, eye doctor, Zoo, Burger King…

Yep, four.

Holy Guacamole!  I forgot Walmart.  I took the boy to Walmart too.  He picked out Pocky.

All of my mom rules are lying on the floor, shattered to pieces.  Small wonder he doesn’t want to go to school, right?

Oh well.

When I’m 105, will I look back and wish I’d stayed on the couch all day?

Or will I remember this:

Happy Tuesday!!

P.S.  I got the boy one of those expensive mylar helium balloons for Valentine’s Day.  It wriggled away from its ribbon (with the little boy’s help, I suspect 🙂 ) and immediately floated up to the top of our very tall front room.  Fart!  We can’t get it with the ladder or the broom.

P.P.S  Did you see the beginning of American Idol this week?  😀

Happy hearts and farts to you too!

Heh heh.

♥♥

 

5 thoughts on “Hearts and Farts

  1. Sorry about the balloon/eye incident – ouch. However, it looks like it was a beautiful day for a trip to the zoo. And…that red balloon is going to be on your ceiling for a l-o-n-g time!

  2. You know I hate fart talk but I love you and I love the memories you are creating for your sweet boy. He SO got the right parents! MWAH~!

  3. I think you both needed the Mental Health day together. Good memories are so important. I try and think about that when we’re making 30 homemade cupcakes while I’m dog tired. . .Sophia will remember that we did that together and she got to pass them out to the class. At least I hope she’ll remember. . .Way to to Mom!

  4. So glad your eye is OK. What a couple of weeks you have had! Your day with our little boy seems like a good antidote for house-bound-ness.

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