#15 – Things I sorta already knew…

but learned again recently…

Never say never.   The finality of it will feel like a challenge.  (Insert far too much self-analysis here.)

No matter how careful I am, I am not careful enough to keep from splattering big dark blobs of hair color all over the carpet every time I dye my hair.

If I forget to put the sheets in the dryer until 11:00 p.m., then we have to wait until 11:40 to go to bed.

I’m too old to stay up until 11:40.

Taking a cat to the vet costs at least $500.  They always find a problem.  It’s just the same as taking your car to the shop, except there’s fur.

IKEA seems like such a good idea, until I get there, and then it just makes me achy and sad.  Like nachos.

I don’t have enough space for my junk.  (I went to IKEA looking for junk storage.)

It’s really hard to let go of the stuff that I like to make room for the stuff that I love, sooooo…the stuff that I love is waiting in drawers and closets and piles and boxes.  Waiting.  And the stuff that I only like is hanging on the walls.  Sigh.  😐

Dark purple Mario fruit snacks look a lot like little balls of cat poo when I spy them on the floor in my dimly lit living room.  Their grape scent momentarily confuses me.

One of my son’s biggest challenges is communicating his long-term goals.  And by “long-term,” I mean what he wants four minutes from now.  He starts every goal by communicating only the first step: “I want Mama up.”  His ultimate objective is a mystery that only he can know until each step is completed, in order, one at a time.  I try to get more information by asking “I want Mama up because…??”  On a good day he will finish the sentence – “I want Mama up, because I want Mama to be standing.”  😐

When Oreo cookies go on sale, husband or I must buy them.  Must.  Buy.  Them.  Double Stuff.

My older brother knows way more about books than I ever will.

I used to love playing jacks.  The metal kind.  They were heavy and offered a satisfying tactile experience.  The new, too-big-for-little-fingers, neon-colored, sticks-to-itself-rubber jacks just aren’t the same.  😐

Giant umbrellas will pop open in the car.  Twice.

If I really enjoy the hotel jacuzzi, then I will not have a card key to get back into the building until I am freezing again.  Freezing.  In a wet swimsuit.  In the dark.  Other hotel guests will stare at me when I walk around through the parking lot to find an open door.  I will not find an open door.

Six quarts of crock pot vegetable soup = six quarts of trash if you add just one ingredient that doesn’t have quite the right flavor.  I added two.  😦  Tarragon and green onions…what was I thinking?!?  Darn it!

If I decide at the last minute to take my cat to the vet, then I will forget to do something else, like put my son’s lunch in his backpack.

If I forget to put my son’s lunch is his backpack, my sense of self-worth in the motherhood department will look like a ball on New Year’s Eve – sparkling and determined (until the wrong is righted), then dark and low for a really long time.  Oy.

I can never have enough tin ornaments.

When I am at my lowest, a thrift store visit is sometimes all the pick-me-up I need, especially when it yields cheery little creatures.

Happy Tuesday!
♥♥

#14 – Things I sorta already knew…

but learned again this week:

  • If I let the child mix the colors, the cupcakes will have dusky purple frosting and his fingertips will be blue and red for several days.
  • If we get to Pump It Up right when it opens, the little boy will actually tire out and want to go before they make us leave.
  • It’s fun to make popcorn with your kid.
  • No matter how many fights I have with our insurance companies, there is always someone dear to me who is fighting harder and getting less.
  • I am not social with strangers.
  • Despite my best efforts, my default demeanor, facial expression, and/or assumed disposition are NOT sunny and welcoming.
  • I have the best two brothers in the entire world.
  • I want my mom to let me choose her next dog.
  • I love to read good books.  Kindred has surprised me.  It’s not what I expected.  I know the minute I finish the last page, I will seek out Butler’s other works.
  • I don’t like reading dust jackets or forewords or authors’ notes until I finish a book.  I go in blind, and either I’m engaged or I’m not.
  • It’s not possible to find the right loaf pan for my pumpkin bread recipe.
  • Our dishwasher is dying.
  • My son always leaves his fast food toys at the restaurant.  On purpose.
  • If I find a beauty product that I like, they will stop making it or at least stop carrying it anywhere that doesn’t charge $5.00 for shipping.  This goes for cheese too…sigh…Vons hasn’t stocked the Saga classic blue brie since I raved about it to my facebook friends.  And Leerdammer…best cheese ever…I don’t know where to get it locally either.
  • I go through thirft store withdrawals if I don’t get to one of them every few weeks.
  • My oldest cat doesn’t see as well as she used to.  Yes, Poupon, that’s a cat treat on the floor in front of you.
  • The little boy really never tires of his Legos.
  • I really hate carpet next to sinks and showers.  Gross.
  • Our cats shed enough fur to make another cat.
  • I don’t want another cat.  Especially not a fake one crafted from fur off the others.
  • The words “vacation” and “break” can be defined as a period of time in which mothers are required to work harder.
  • Everything really does seem better when you already know when your next chocolate is happening.  🙂

Happy Tuesday!

♥♥

#13 – Things I sorta already knew…

but learned again this month:

  1. If you don’t have giant bandaids, you can use a bandana to tie a kotex to your husband’s hand when he burns his skin late at night and wants to protect it while he sleeps.
  2. If you need a new patio table, one will magically appear at your front door.  Behind it, you will find giant birthday cupcakes (see pic) and a card from a visiting (and quite spectacular) friend.  Thank you, Christine!
  3. If you accidentally toss a heap of lantana clippings into the blue bin instead of the green bin, you will be really upset with yourself when you also pour a container full of broken bottles, dented cans and wet cardboard in on top of them.  Dumb.  Dirty.  Tedious and icky to correct.
  4. If you don’t write something on your blog at least five days a week, you will forget how and your drafts will threaten to outnumber your published pieces.
  5. If you really need a break from the house and long to indulge in a little guilt-free impulse shopping, a friend will suddenly appear with an Anthropologie gift card for your birthday.  Thank you, SarahHUHlita!
  6. Everyone should have three moms.  😀 😀 😀
  7. If you sign up for every restaurant e-club out there, you will get a lot of free meals around your birthday.
  8. The little boy does better with pictures.  For everything.
  9. You can’t finish your list unless you take a cheerios break when you get to number nine.
  10. Sitting in commute traffic sucks even more for a low blood sugar autistic seven-year-old than it does for me.  “No zero.  No zero.  Yes sixty.”
  11. Oil covered wildlife is sad and wrong and makes me teary.  (Don’t look, mom.)
  12. I want to see Toy Story 3 more than my child does.
  13. If you are patient enough, you will realize that the odd looking tomato in the corner is actually a yellow heirloom variety and not a red one gone wrong.
  14. If you are smart enough, you will take your salt shaker into the yard, eat the yellow tomato right from the vine, and feel more privileged than any diner who ever lived.
  15. Support for Obama will wax and wane, but I will always believe that he is a good man who is trying very hard to do what’s best.
  16. If you keep forgetting to take your child for a haircut, the hair will not stop growing to wait for you.
  17. You don’t have to pile into the car to entertain your kid.  Sometimes, riding a scooter to the park around the corner is the best thing ever.  Really, ever.

♥♥

#12 – Things I sorta already knew…

but learned again this month:

  1. Undercooked onion rings are a huge disappointment.
  2. Even if you buy the Mother’s Day cards a week early, you won’t get them out on time.
  3. My son won’t eat the second pop-tart in the pack.  Doesn’t matter when he opened it.  The second one is no good.
  4. I can leave my house, get to See’s Candies, hand pick selections for an entire one pound box, get out of the store and be home again in less than thirty minutes.  And only two minutes of that is for candy decisions.
  5. Whenever I buy new sheets, I have to pay full price.  No matter what size, what color, fitted, flat, cases or shams, what I want is NEVER on the clearance rack.
  6. I feel calmer when there are at least four avocados and ten tomatoes in the house.
  7. Clothing designers do not know how to dress full figured women.
  8. The rarely encountered super sweet watermelon is well worth the cash you waste on all the ones you hoped were good, but found were not.
  9. My son is really tall and there are no pants in the world that fit his tiny waist and still go all the way to his feet.  (Insert chuckle for Mom’s story about altering my older brother’s pants to fit my middle brother’s smaller waist.  By the time she was through taking them in, the pants’ pockets met in the back.)
  10. If you really want to post something, you will find a few minutes in your day.  😀
  11. Some people have nothing better to do than criticize their neighbors.
  12. There is not enough blank wall space in our house.  We need a big family photo gallery somewhere.
  13. Just when you think you have recovered from the disappointment of accidentally breaking something in your kitchen, you will break something else.  Seriously.  Two utensil crocks.  Ten minutes apart.  Smashed ’em both.
  14. It’s not a good idea to buy any of those cold salads at the deli counter in the grocery store.
  15. I kinda love chickens.  And weird wooden shelf things.  And blue paint.

Happy Saturday.  🙂

P.S. Got all the little chickies a few years ago in a shop on Olvera Street.  So fun.  You should go there.

♥♥

#11 – Things I sorta already knew…

but learned again this week:

  1. Little boys eat M&Ms for breakfast on Easter morning.
  2. Friends with fondue are fine friends indeed.
  3. I don’t like mushrooms.  Raw or cooked, barbecued even.  Small or large.  I’ve tried and tried.  I really have.  It ain’t gonna happen.
  4. Honey Nut Cheerios is the only food that really appeals in the morning.  Gotta have it.  Well, unless someone will go with me to Aunt Emma’s.  😀
  5. Pat & Oscar’s will never stop sending me coupons.
  6. Even when my little boy’s M&M’s-for-breakfast, Easter burn-out, birthday-party-overload, just-downright-tired tantrum from hell erupts at bedtime and turns him into a miniature ogre, I will be the one who feels like a monster by the time it’s done.  I told my kid he was acting like a brat last night (which he was), but he’s just a little boy and I hate that I said that to him.  😦
  7. No matter how great the hair cut, I will never get it to look like the stylist did when she blew it dry.
  8. Animusic and Animusic II are some of the best dvds we have ever purchased for our autistic son.  Go here to see an excerpt.
  9. My son plays a video game that has chickens shooting eggs at one another.  They don’t have special guns and there are sound effects.
  10. Otay Ranch Town Center needs a Cost Plus World Market.
  11. If I wear the weird criss-cross shirt to my nephew’s 4th birthday party, I will come home with funfetti in my bra.

Happy Monday!

♥♥

#10 in a series – Things I sorta already knew…

but learned again this month:

  1. The Matrix (or one of its sequels) is always on t.v.  Always.  Always.
  2. My husband is defenseless against a pan of Rice Krispy treats.
  3. I am defenseless against a pan of brownies.  Especially if it’s this recipe and there is whipped cream in the fridge.
  4. If I’m kinda hungry when I take my seat in a crowded community theater, embarrassing noises will come from my gut during the quietest parts of the show.
  5. If I accidentally send an unkind e-mail to the wrong people, those people will be at the same crowded community theater (and probably hear my stomach growling).  And when I see them, they will annoy me and make my flight impulse irresistible.
  6. I’m never going to clean the glass cover on our porch light.
  7. At least twice a week, I get weepy as I’m driving away from my child’s school in the morning.
  8. Sometimes, I miss this cranky, old, cloudy-eyed cat:
  9. Sometimes, I wish we had no cats.
  10. Burger King has veggie burgers and they’re actually kinda tasty.  🙂
  11. Kate Gosselin looks beautiful with longer hair.
  12. The teachers at my son’s school have a great capacity for shocking me.  Like today, when one of them told me that my son doesn’t get recess if he doesn’t bring his homework in on Mondays.  What?  That’s right, my autistic son, a child who thrives on routines and consistency, doesn’t get recess if there is no homework in his backpack…yeah…because he can easily see the relationship between those two things, right?  And he can easily communicate that information to me, right?  Um, no and no.
  13. Life is too short for bad doughnuts.  Go here instead. Or here or here.
  14. McDonald’s has bitter, disgusting iced tea that should not be legal to sell, not as a beverage anyway.
  15. Sometimes I get burned out on Mandarin Dynasty and then, all of the sudden, I can’t stop thinking about the sweet and sour tofu!  And the veggie pot stickers.  Oh my!  You need to go there. I need to go there.
  16. I think I’m unintentionally writing a food blog.  Or maybe I’m just hungry.  For doughnuts and Chinese food.  Chinese doughnuts?
  17. Since I’m a vegetarian, maybe I don’t need to keep this title in my cookbook collection:
     

♥♥

#9 in a series – Things I sorta already knew…

but learned again in 2009:

  1. It doesn’t take much to compromise your health.
  2. Every family has at least one person who looks really beautiful with purple hair.
  3. I work best under pressure.
  4. Even when my son enters the car in clean clothes, there is no guarantee he will emerge in clean clothes when we reach our destination ten minutes later.
  5. Honey Nut Cheerios is the only cereal I can douse with milk, completely forget while I am distracted by laundry, dishes or my son, and then return to eat when I remember it.  No mush!
  6. If I give in to my son’s request to use my head to “catch” the koosh ball, my hair will rip out.  And it will surprise me.  And it will hurt.
  7. I will be there when the time comes, but probably not before.
  8. Listening to my son sing the tune to his favorite video game is a joy I will remember to the day I die.
  9. My husband can watch Point Break every time it’s on t.v.
  10. When you’re seven, goldfish crackers with fluffy white frosting is an entree.
  11. You have to trim the bangs before you see the giant bruise your kid got on the school playground.
  12. I don’t crave pizza all the time anymore.
  13. You actually can eat too many M&Ms.
  14. I am overwhelmed by Stephanie Nielsen.  In a good way.
  15. I love Meryl Streep.  Gotta get the video for Julie & Julia.
  16. Toys are loud.
  17. When I have to pee in the middle of the night, but I’m too sound asleep to get out of bed, my mind conjures snakes.  Lots and lots of snakes.  Green snakes that lunge and try to bite me.