Letting you in

Yesterday, my blog and I became a discussion topic in a craigslist parenting forum.  Someone cut about half (not all) of my post and pasted it together with the headline “Is it abuse?”

There were a few nice people who came to my defense and even expressed some sorrow for the challenges I face in parenting an autistic child.  And there was at least one person who stated that my entire blog ought to be read before any opinion was rendered.  I appreciate that.

There was also someone whom I think was trying to defend me, but did so by lumping my behaviors with others she found acceptable.  Unfortunately, the behaviors she mentioned are things I would never do and frankly hadn’t even thought of before reading them in her comment.  I do appreciate her sentiment though.

When I wrote yesterday’s blog I tried to swallow my pride and put aside my embarrassment to tell you one of the most sorrowful things I have experienced as a parent.  It wasn’t easy to think about it so honestly, but I did.  It was even harder to write and submit for public scrutiny, but I did that too.

I make no apologies for what I wrote.  It was the truth.  Do I wish I could turn back the clock and react differently to my son?  Certainly.  But I also wish he weren’t autistic, because it’s hard.

My son is a smart, funny, lovely little boy, but some of the time there is no way to reach him and I grow weary and depressed.  I know there are other parents out there who feel the same way.  Maybe you are one of them.

I would be lying if I told you that the craigslist discussion has not been on my mind for the last 24 hours.  It most certainly has inspired a wide range of emotions in me, but I am strong.  I know there will be more of this if I continue to write, so it’s a good thing that I have developed a very thick skin in the journey with my son.

Today, I promise to keep letting you in.  As fearful as I was of having anyone peer into my life just a few short years ago, I now realize that I must invite you if I am to move forward.  I vow to tell you where I’ve been and how I got there.  I hope that you will come along for the ride.

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