Gentle, Slow and Careful

It’s 7:25 a.m.

The little boy is in the kitchen, pouring and scooping water back and forth between a large loaf pan and my Tupperware batter bowl.

He is using a giant black ladle and the spoon side of my cheap plastic salad tongs.

He is humming Christmas music and stopping every few moments to repeat our water pouring chant, “gentle, slow and careful.”

He’s getting better and better.

Maybe next time we make pumpkin bread, he will be ready to hoist the heavier pyrex bowl up over the pan.

I didn’t let him do it today and he couldn’t handle my decision.

His spiral into compulsive, trembling obsession started immediately.  And the wet eyes.  The wet eyes kill me.

“Do it today.  Do it today.  Do it today!”

“No, sweetie, it’s already done.”

Do it today.  No do it tomorrow.  Do it today.  Do it today!”

“The bowl was too heavy for you, so Mommy had to do it.”

“Do it today.  No tomorrow.  No tomorrow!”

He covered his face in despair and kept on shaking.

Hence the need for an alternate pouring activity.

He loves to “help” me in the kitchen.

He wants to pour and measure and stir and say the names of each ingredient and tell me the colors and crack the eggs.

I let him do most of it, though I draw the line at the eggs unless we have plenty of extras.  Today we had only four and I needed them all, so I couldn’t gamble on my his still-developing skill.

Oddly enough, that didn’t seem to bother him as it usually does.  It was the batter into the pan part that got him instead.  It had to be something.  His life is full of tiny, frequent disappointments.

Again, I must thank God for the child’s cheerful disposition and his ability to recover faster and faster, the older he gets.  With age, he bends more easily to an appealing distraction, like the other pan and a different bowl.  And water.  He’s kind of a sucker for water play.

He poured for a while – enough to let me escape for this post even  – and just now he floated past me up the stairs, humming, headed for his room and its bounty of Christmas toys.  Tantrum crisis averted, avoided, evaded.

And now I can smell the bread.  Nutmeg, cinnamon and pumpkin.  Heavenly combination at this hour.

So glad my big bundt pan didn’t quite hold all of the batter.  There’s another little loaf in there just for us.  The big one, which I hope will turn out in one beautiful round piece, will go with husband to the office.

I was going to make a loaf for each one of his coworkers, but he has too many of them now.  I would have to get up at 4:00 a.m. to do that.  No thanks.  They get one big loaf to share.  And even that’s a miracle these days.

I never have time to do anything anymore, what with training the child to chant and pour.  😐

Speaking of the child, he just came to me and asked for tape.  He’s holding his first homemade 2010 Valentine’s Day decoration.  He ripped down all of those green paper trees and now he wants to put up this funny little heart he drew.

Already?

Really?

I haven’t even put away Christmas yet.

Sigh.

There is never enough time.

I feel stressed.

Breathe.

Gotta remember how to deal with my emotions, my life, and my kid.

Gotta remember the chant…

gentle, slow, and careful.

Happy Monday!

P.S.  We used our fireplace this weekend.  It was the first time in about six years.  We were cold!

P.P.S.  We also watched movies.

Inception wasn’t as good as I’d hoped, though I love Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page and Marion Cotillard.  None of the characters was very compelling, but I was entertained enough to see it through.  Husband was equally unimpressed.  Kind of a forgettable movie, really.

I watched Garden State by myself.  I actually enjoyed this movie much more than I thought I would.  I’m certainly glad I didn’t pay full price for it at a theatre and I don’t think husband would have loved it, but I found it sort of charming.  And it did have a few very memorable scenes.

Did you see Inception or Garden State?  What do you think?

♥♥

5 thoughts on “Gentle, Slow and Careful

  1. Becky,

    I just love your blog. What you described reminds me so much of both of my children at different times. Obsessed with doing something, not understanding they can’t. Wanting it now, sad and teary-eyed.

    Here’s a suggestion for the egg cracking. Sophia always wanted to crack the eggs. So we did it into a separate bowl, in case we ended up with pieces of shell (we usually did). Then we could pick out the shell and pour it in with the other ingredients. Would that work?

    You are a wonderful mom, Becky. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

    ~Christy

  2. I saw Garden State a long time ago and the scene I remember is the one where his shirt is exactly like the wall paper and he kind of disappears into it! I can smell the bread you are baking and I want some!

  3. Upon Jennifer’s suggestion, we took the fam and some of he kids friends to our local $5 theater called “Elm St. Draught House” in Millbury, MA. I walked out half way through Inception and got some work done back at the ranch.

    Can’t a beckysblogreader post a pic?

  4. Love Thomas and the fireplace. I can just see his cheeks getting red and his delight in the warmth. Don’t know a thing about Garden State. Thanks for the intro. Gentle, slow, careful is a great mantra!

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